Why should I get a job? Why should I live a life? There is nothing I want to do and there is nothing I want to have, so why? Why do I need to live? Because I don't want to die. There is no reason to keep on living, there never was, and I've known it since ahildhood, but sometimes this bothers me much more than other times. The only reason to keep going is because I don't want to die. I don't want to live, but, more than that, I don't want to die. I'm too weak-willed to kill myself unless it's with drugs. That, and my  basic physiological needs. I need to eat to live. Everything else is irrelevant. But how do I live if I'm scared of life, if it's too complicated for me? I don't live. I exist. I don't need to live a life. I just need to exist. Only existing is fine. That's all all of us really want. To exist. That's very self-centered and even bigoted. No purpose. We need to get busy or our sanity slowly starts corroding away. Maybe that's why we will stop progressing as species? Because we have evolved to the point where we've developed too much conscious, where thinking destroys us? Why should I not die? There is nothing I look forward to. There is nothing I'm going to do with my life. I'm a nobody that is not like the rest. I  make everyone believe I'm just like them, but I'm just a ghost. I've departed. I can't ask a girl on a date, because I'm a nobody. I can't have friends, because I don't have a life. Do I want to be a somebody? Do I want to have a shiny life? I don't. Do I want to take medicine to forget what sort of creature I've morped into? I don't. No one can help me and I don't want to fake gratitude for their pity. I don't care about myself. There was never anything good about me. So there is nothing I lost. I was never meant to add to the global value of humanity either way. Just to leech, I guess. I exist in a different dimension, so I have nothing in common with the people of this world. I can't live in your world. Please leave me alone until my existence ceases. I don't want to be happy. That doesn't interest me.