I still don't know what I am. I feel some potential, but the underachiever in me might just let it fade away. But what I figured I have to know is that I am supposed to be alone. Before I started school I pretty much played by myself and never had a problem with that. In fact, I was more independent than I am now. Throughout my school years I got used to bonding. Now I have some friends I am very loyal to. We don't communicate for most time but we're OK with that. Almost through my third year in university, I have now acquired only two persons I call friends. I have striven to reach the level I was at as a child.
Actually... This is false. It's all good that I have a piece of mind even when alone, but social connections are the key in my scope of life. I am too dumb to pursue any scientific goals, so I can't afford to get secluded. Business is contacts, internal company rapport is informal communication. There is no escaping. Just gotta make sure you're surrounded by the right kind of people. Relationships bring dependency and I trust people a little too much. "Deceive me and I will annihilate you :)"?
Contradicting your own beliefs. Good job, boy. Well, as long as I keep that mug of mine thinking. Gotta learn to operate in an ambiguous environment. I like motorcycles :)))
Many people don't know who they are. Many don't even think about that, they just live and pass without this knowledge. You should be proud of yourself that you care.
ReplyDeleteHow can you operate to your full extent if you haven't defined yourself? Or is that a good thing? Does defining mean limiting?? Yes, and there is always room for improvement. Am I awesome after all!
ReplyDeletehow do you know what your "full extent" is?
Deleteby simply living and experiencing new things, coping with problems and succeeding can only you find out all those small parts of your personality which add to a full picture. and it doesn't matter if it's good to define yourself or it's bad - if you want to know that, do something about it and stop talking about limits, cause all of them are in your head and they don't exist in reality.
plus, by defining yourself as "awesome" think about the definition. none of us are awesome because this word tends to have a strong linkage with "perfection", and we're not perfect and never will be. cause we're not things, we're more complex. and complexity leads to problems, and problems are never a perfection.
Spouting this... Limits do exist. For one, we are just bags of bones and meat. I can only study/cycle so much per attempt. Were you more attentive, it would have been clear that I'm not arguing that limits can be pushed in some instances. To add more, in the context of 'self' I still believe that defining does mean limiting. However, humans need certainty.
DeleteHardships do not add to full picture, they change the picture.
Let me thing about the definition for another second. Yep, I'm pretty awesome. Again, what you said in the... Nusisneki tu visiskai. Isvartai i bbz ka, tarsi nezinotum kaip beissidirbinet. Kaip tu gali generalizuot, kad complexity leads to problems? O gal i grozi? O gal i tobuluma? Paprastutis vidaus degimo varilkis vs. state-of-the-art variklis. Kazka cia lauzi, per daug stengies ir tik erzini mane.
Everything adds to a full picture, as well as everything changes it.
DeleteI like multi-lingual conversations, netgi tada, kai kita klaba įvedama tik dėl provokacijos.
Tiesiog aš nekalbu bendrom frazėm, nes jos nieko gero neduoda, dažnai (gal per dažnai) remiuosi patirtim (ne tik savo). Automatiškai, formuojasi pažiūros, nori nenori. Ir complexity leads to problems (didesnes ar mažesnes) dažnai pasitvirtino. Tik tiek. Tavo patirtis ryškiai kitokia, jei taip abejoji viskuo ir neigi bet ką, ką sakau ir. Ir dar, netoleruoji kitų, 'pretty awesome'. Taip, tavo pasisakymuose kartais net nustembu, kad kalbi visai ir tiesą, bet tiesiog pagalvok, kad ne tik tavo vieno nuomonė vyrauja ant šitos žemelės, gaila, kad šito dar neišmokai. Have a nice day.